Visit with new friend was a success!! Shes kind and sweet and funny and she seems to handle our constant normal chaos in stride. Didn't even blink an eye when my dopey eyed brother emerged from the basement at noon rubbing sleep from his eye. Didn't question his tattered purple wolf covered jammie tshirt, nor did she seemed offended at his 20 question interrogation upon seeing a new face at my kitchen table.( Scotty can smell fresh friend meat a mile away) She has passed the test of the crazies in this house with flying colors and we will now be lifelong bff's...ha! So far so good! Kids played well, moms visited smoothly and easily, more so after inspector Scott retreated to his liar.... this day was good :)
2pm and we are getting ready to go when we decide to let Mia bring a friend Swimming. Heck, we are such masterful pro parents now why the heck couldn't we handle 6 kids 6, pardon me, 7 years old and under at the pool? ppft, easy peasy boys and girls. Mia asks for Billy Gene since family holidays takes her away from our sleep over next weekend. We pick up Miss Billy Gene, have our Ford full to capacity and we are off!
I am even so prepared \I remembered to bring quarters for the lockers, swimmers, goggles, extra socks, you name it I have it and I am feeling good. ( Well other than the fact that I despise swimming, hate public pools and getting my hair wet, I'm good!)
We walk out to the main deck and release the hounds! These kids are off like bullets! Mia and Billy gene his the first pool they see, jumping in like they are on fire! The boys are off and running ( no running at the pool!!!) heading for those water slides like nobodies business...Yvette is toddling off to the kiddie section ready to aim those water guns at the first unknowing toddler she sees that looks her way.....Chad and I nod, scatter and we each take a firm parental stance along with the lifeguards to make sure we don't end up on the news, in the ER or the Mac Island "do not allow here" list.
Then I see life guards go bug eyed...parents pause, the air has changed...kids start to run down the stairs from the water slide....whispers get louder, gates close, backup lifeguards emerge...people are directed to just " look away!" Then the water turns off and we are all ushered into one small deep pool...Chad and I with our 6 kids and 4 arms...countless other parents and crying kids are huddled into some tiny second string pool....then we are told.... There has been an accident!? Oh no! Oh YES!
Someone has tampered with the purity of the pool....someone has...POOPED in the pool. ewwww....and (let me double check its none of my kids...nope, nope all good) come on now! Put a swimmer on your kids people! Empty those bowels before we hit the slides...seriously. Some peoples kids. Ugh. and now we must leave. Its all good though, the kids are still happy, we can eat dinner a bit earlier and we get a free voucher to come back another time. Ok, not bad. I feel like a smug mom since I know I was ( FINALLY) not the one to cause such chaos and mayhem. There is still poop in our life but this time it was not "ours" and as gross as that sounds, "someone Else's poop" makes me feel so good at this moment.
So we head to dinner early and even a 45 minute wait wont deter us. Mia is SET on wearing those moose antlers tonight and so we wait it out. Chad actually takes ALL 6 kids on a walk to the mall to Claires while I wait at the restaurant...they come back kids all in tact, Chad still looking chill, minutes later we are sat and ordered and life is again good!! We eat, we visit, we play tic tac toe on the paper table top. We clink glasses, we smile at each other, we pat our selves on the back at being so gosh darn amazing put together people! Yes, you over there, take a long stare, we are the BOMB. All these kids are ours, (ok well except Billy Gene,) but they are well behaved, they are clean, they are cute ( if I do say so myself) and we are a glowing example of a family out on the town keeping it real! We get through our meal, Yvette even pees on the potty, Mia gets her very special bday dessert and sparkler! The wait staff sing! We cheer! I take pictures!! Oh this is all so Sunday evening family movie perfect.....we are ready for the bill, the kids are getting coats on, the waitress ( on her second shift only ever) is bringing the debit machine over and we are casually chatting about how good dinner was when I stop...my mom spider sense is tingling...I slowly look to my right....I hear this... " gargle umph spit sputter gag" say what? I look over...4 of 6 kids are going to the door, Yvette is still in her booster, Ryley stands at my feet..... Green...... He looks at me square in the eye...he looks to the left, I pause, my heart stops and then it happens.... Ryley starts to PROJECTILE VOMIT everywhere. First on my feet...then the floor...then Yvette's chair...then Chad comes outta nowhere with a mason jar mug full of melted ice and soon Ryleys re birthed dinner....the waitress is in shock...the patrons to the left of us eating dinner pause and gawk... I am brought back to reality. Yes. This is more like it. We are NOT perfect family movie family. We are us. The Frigons. We have 5 Young kids and these are the things that happen to us ALL the time. *sigh* It was a wonderful 10 hours of feeling like that fake family. It felt good dammit. Poor Ryley.....he threw up all but his stomach lining, then held his head up high, walked over his vomit pile and our the front door like a champ. Said, "thanks guys, I feel good now!" Chad paid the bill. Said he left the biggest tip of his life....and now I wonder if we are the Montana's " do no allow in" list. Heavy sigh.