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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Annoying my husband, and flipping my shit.

So I don't really think I wrote any social media or announced to the world recently but Chad was playing hockey this weekend and he was tripped, hit the boards and hurt his shoulder. He had to go to Emergency to get two rounds of X-rays and discovered he has a pretty badly separated shoulder. BOO.

Well, that sucks for all of us, especially him. He is grumpy he cant play hockey right now and more so that he cant run! He has been training so hard and running so much and he has just been killing it, so that's really disappointing! I think he is going to try the stationary bike until he can run again but injuries suck and they ruin your routine. I feel badly for him, I really do...THEN I messed up in one little sentence...

So I said the other day in bed, after a particularly busy day " well, thank goodness its you and not me!"  I got the woman eyes from the man I love. He stared at me like I had two heads, both of which he hated. He said

" well thanks" turned his head to the other side of his pillow ( because he cant rollover and put his back to me, hehe)

I tried to explain what I meant but it was late and he didn't get it so we just said goodnight and went to bed.

Last night we discussed the new Federal government budget, I KNOW we are VERY interesting people. That aside and back to government budgets, Chad said something like,

" well I dont know, but I think its foolish to spend a billion dollars on women's equality issues or whatever" ...

I said

" well, I dont know about the money but I think it is an issue.  Women arnt viewed as equal, Men you included, always think your smarter, better,  faster or whatever and I dont really know if that will change but whatever It doesn't really bug me"

Chad gave me that look again. He said this

" So what your saying is you think Women are better than men than?"

" NO, I think they aren't equals. Different."

Chad says
" Like the other night when you said your glad your not hurt, because I am so useless that it doesn't matter if I am hurt, well you would notice how useless I am when no money is coming in"


* Deep breath*

OK, first I didn't say he was useless, I said in clearly twisted words and poorly articulated conversation that I have a a lot of physically demanding, really annoying things to do in a day that sadly require me to uses BOTH hands. Just a small example, (and of course for the sake of argument I will clearly overvalue my role here and under play chads work role, but you will get the just of it.)

In our everyday life, not on holidays, and even on weekends when Chad has 3 days off who does all of this??:

  1. Making 5 kids breakfast, 
  2. " " 5 kids lunch
  3. Helping get them dressed in snow gear, or do up laces, or put on gloves
  4. Vaccum
  5. Buy, load and unload groceries
  6. Clean toliets
  7. Do and then FOLD laundry
  8. give kids baths and wash their hair ( boys and girls included)
  9. Braid the girls hair
  10. Cook supper
  11. load a dishwaser
  12. Wash all the remaining dishes that i cant CRAM in the dishwasher in the sink
  13. Vaccum again
  14. Tie up and take out the garbage
Generally ALL of the household duties form taking recycle out to maintaining kids and house and "life" fall on me and require the absolute use of TWO WORKING HANDS

Chad said " ok I'm useless then"


I feel like he works very hard and provides a really fantastic life for us and we really wouldn't be able to FINANCIALLY be capable to things like buying groceries and paying for water to bath ourselves without him. I KNOW that, the facet doesn't escape me that I am a " stay at home mom" and I just take take take all your money and then make you feel useless. I don't mean to do that but clearly I do.

So he says

" ok, well I do nothing and you do it all and I guess I didn't realize you felt that way"


I meant, Chad has to take care of Chad. He has to dress himself, drive to work, sit in an office and have meetings all day Important meetings that mostly require his brain and not his hands.

What I  meant was how could I do ALL of those things that I have to do, in which small people RELY on me for on a non stop basis if I had no use of one arm. Would I just leave it all up to him while I laid in bed and mended myself? If he recalls I had a pretty big surgery about a year ago and even then no one " allowed" me to lay in bed and mend, no one even helped me make lunches, give bath or braid hair and I'm still pissed about that.

" Well that was your decision, you decided to DO a surgery. I'm hurt by accident"

You can see how this conversation was going, it wash pretty so we both just decided right there to stop talking. I did say lastly that I appreciate all he does, I do. When we are on holidays he really steps ups and does a lot of my " duties" in the cooking department.  When I asked him if he has ever vacuumed in the year we have lived in this new house he said " no"
have you ever done a load of laundry? " no"
Have you ever scrubbed a gross toilet soiled by 3 gross boys?  " no"
ever packed a kids lunch on your Friday off work when they have school? no.
well try doing all that with ONE arm is all I meant.

So we still love each other and conversations like this are pretty normal in the realm of people being together for 14 years but they are still annoying and I still need to vent about them.

In the end, Men no matter what they say don't appreciate the "job" of a stay at home mom. Not even mine who sees me and our life everyday understands it. I feel that what I do carries very little value in the eyes of a lot of men that I know, or the man that I know very well. So that's my rant.

Now If you will excuse me I am about to hop on a plane and get the heck out of here so Chad can see what its like to do it all. I will be back in 6 months. A weekend girls trip is no indicator of the everyday crap we have to do that they clearly don't even realize.

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