July 7th 2010:
Today I was getting getting ready to go to a play date with a awesome lady that I LOVE to sit with and complain with, and laugh with ( cry with?) about all our motherly woes. Between is we have too many kids....Yes, play dates are really just amazing, judge free, Mommy venting sessions with other awesome mommies, disguised as a fun friendly way to get our kids out to socialize with other kids....secrets out, play dates are for moms. In all honestly If they wasnt something in it for us moms why on EARTH would I pack up my four kids come rain, shine, snow and sleet ( yes here in Fort Mac those can all happen on the same day) and have them all dressed brushed, wiped and waxed AND have prepared a yummy snack to share all by 10am? Really it would just be another hair pulling punishment if there wasnt something in it for me. If you dont believe me you come to my place and try to get ready for a play date, you'll see what I mean about punishing....so back on track, so this morning I was really excited and happy to be chasing 15 month old naked twins around to struggle them into diapers and clothes. Happy to be getting a sobbing Mia to brush her hair and even happy to have it all done by 9:45am. However in a brief moment of frustration when I thought we were all ready to go and then realized at 9:30 that I was not yet showered ( think I can put them all the van with a movie and then take a quick shower? joking....sort of....)I paused to think about these things now that make me happy.... like these crazy morning play dates, or bike rides to the park, in the sweltering heat, with a 3 yr old who thinks she Lance Armstrong on a bike, when shes really like more like Franklin the turtle. What were things that not so long ago used to make me feel the same kind of excitement? hmm...can I recall? Sure I can...pedicures, hot tubs, nights on the town with the girls....Well I still do the same things now that I did then, just a bit different. Like monthly pedicures still exist but are now done by Mia, with her pink Barbie polish, not quite the same standard but cheaper ;) Hot tub parties have been traded for evening bubble bath parties. ( oddly still the same about of nudity involved) Evenings out revolve around sitters and bedtimes not girlfriends and happy hours. All fun, just in a different way. Truth be told some of the more meaningful conversations I have had in my life were at recent playdates, among the toddler noise, cheese and crackcer mess and all of course while dressing the despised polly pockets. So I am grateful to be a mommy today even if it is just because selfishly I was able to meet other wonderful mommies that make me feel happy, and accepted and the most normal and I have felt in a few years. Thanks mommies, thanks playdates. My mental health owes you all :)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Messes
Well, in some of these posts I have been known to complain about my sweet, handsome, smart,
husband whom I love VERY much. ( That being said, I think it gives me the right to complain, its like thinking your own kid is ugly, YOU can think that your kid is ugly, its YOUR kid, but no one else may even venture to say juniors hair is out of place! So no one else but me can complain about Chad in the special enduring way) phew, sorry for that, Moving on..For something new, tonight I think I am going to complain about myself...
Sometimes I feel bi polar or something? ( not really Bi polar, sorry to offend any bi polar folk out there I hope you part of you will forgive me) For the most part I do all the cooking , cleaning, washing drying, organizing, diapering, decorating dismantling etc in this home of ours. Sometimes I secretly ( and silently, of course) wish that Chad would help just a little more in the cleaning and organizing department, I'll let him off on the decorating portion however, I like the sports section just as much as any other gal but not ALL OVER THE HOUSE . OK, back on track..complain about me, complain about me...so today I took Coy and Mia to the Parade downtown ( that's another blog and it will make your head spin) when I came back Chad had the closets ripped apart, the sock hamper with all the lonely unmatched socks strewn all over the front living room, the dining room table, the kitchen etc. The junk drawer was ripped apart...I literally thought he lost something? ( His MIND perhaps? I did leave him alone for 3 hours with the twins) Turns out he was just cleaning and organizing and trying to be really helpful and get those little jobs done that I cant find the time for. As well he was doing a load of laundry, awe..so sweet. I should feel nothing but love and gratitude and applaud his ambition and drive! Right! Right?
Well I survey the situation and this is how I feel. First I feel like a slacker for not cleaning out the junk drawer and the sock hamper sooner and wonder if it has been secretly annoying him this whole time? Maybe I should have put that higher on my priority list? Then after I feel like a slacker wife, I start to feel bad for him for taking his much needed day off and cleaning our junk and matching our socks...and then as a bit more time goes by I feel annoyed...mostly because its now the evening and the socks are still all over, the junk is taking a vacation from its drawer and I'm pretty sure this is one of those things that Chad has started and I will finish. Then I am even MORE annoyed, I don't have time to clean up socks and junk, or else it would have been done by now! Maybe this is his way of just making me do it, I cant let it sit here now, it drives me batty to sit in junk and socks!! You know the other day he actually said that he loves being married...awe right....but the he finished that up with " I hate having to clean up my own messes, thank goodness for wives!"
So on one hand I want his help, on the other hand I loathe his help...*sigh* its just one of those things, I'm not sure if it will get better, as you know we have an eye roll kind of marriage, not argue it out one ;)
husband whom I love VERY much. ( That being said, I think it gives me the right to complain, its like thinking your own kid is ugly, YOU can think that your kid is ugly, its YOUR kid, but no one else may even venture to say juniors hair is out of place! So no one else but me can complain about Chad in the special enduring way) phew, sorry for that, Moving on..For something new, tonight I think I am going to complain about myself...
Sometimes I feel bi polar or something? ( not really Bi polar, sorry to offend any bi polar folk out there I hope you part of you will forgive me) For the most part I do all the cooking , cleaning, washing drying, organizing, diapering, decorating dismantling etc in this home of ours. Sometimes I secretly ( and silently, of course) wish that Chad would help just a little more in the cleaning and organizing department, I'll let him off on the decorating portion however, I like the sports section just as much as any other gal but not ALL OVER THE HOUSE . OK, back on track..complain about me, complain about me...so today I took Coy and Mia to the Parade downtown ( that's another blog and it will make your head spin) when I came back Chad had the closets ripped apart, the sock hamper with all the lonely unmatched socks strewn all over the front living room, the dining room table, the kitchen etc. The junk drawer was ripped apart...I literally thought he lost something? ( His MIND perhaps? I did leave him alone for 3 hours with the twins) Turns out he was just cleaning and organizing and trying to be really helpful and get those little jobs done that I cant find the time for. As well he was doing a load of laundry, awe..so sweet. I should feel nothing but love and gratitude and applaud his ambition and drive! Right! Right?
Well I survey the situation and this is how I feel. First I feel like a slacker for not cleaning out the junk drawer and the sock hamper sooner and wonder if it has been secretly annoying him this whole time? Maybe I should have put that higher on my priority list? Then after I feel like a slacker wife, I start to feel bad for him for taking his much needed day off and cleaning our junk and matching our socks...and then as a bit more time goes by I feel annoyed...mostly because its now the evening and the socks are still all over, the junk is taking a vacation from its drawer and I'm pretty sure this is one of those things that Chad has started and I will finish. Then I am even MORE annoyed, I don't have time to clean up socks and junk, or else it would have been done by now! Maybe this is his way of just making me do it, I cant let it sit here now, it drives me batty to sit in junk and socks!! You know the other day he actually said that he loves being married...awe right....but the he finished that up with " I hate having to clean up my own messes, thank goodness for wives!"
So on one hand I want his help, on the other hand I loathe his help...*sigh* its just one of those things, I'm not sure if it will get better, as you know we have an eye roll kind of marriage, not argue it out one ;)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tired? Dont tell Chad...
June 30...good day...busy day....winding down watching TLC " I didn't know I was pregnant"
I LOVE this show, its like a train wreck and I cant look away! ( Chad is watching it with me too and loving it just as much as I am but ssshhh)
Speaking of Chad, he came home today and we chatted about our days a bit and I mentioned in passing I was tired...to which I received the eye roll. Chad is not one to actually SAY anything negative or annoying in response to any comment I make because that would actually allow me to start a argument ( which we really don't ever actually have, mostly in part to his silence, how can you argue if your other half sits there in silence.. deafening eye rolling silence!) So now I am just reflecting on my day, and of course doing a vs. his day kind of thing, (very silently of course )
So what did I do today? Should I be complaining that I feel tired? Well, lets do a recap, ( just the short version as the commercial break is almost over )
-We had a decent sleep, woke at 7am
-made breakfast, chased children to get dressed, be clean we have a play date today!
-make cookies before 10 am play date
-burn cookies.
-pack up early, need to go to store to get snacks for play date
-take FOUR kids to extra foods...do I need to explain to you all how fun that is?
-Go to big play date!
- Chase kids around new friends home trying to get them to not break, eat, steal, pee on or terrorize other new friends and their toys
-hours later, pack up kids to go home for cranky overtired twins nap time... and get two toddlers who don't want to go into the truck...in the rain. I get drenched.
-put twins to sleep
-fold 3 loads of laundry while convincing Coy laundry is NOT BALLS! Stop throwing my underwear!
-jump on trampoline for too long...ooh my bladder...
-remove all chairs from floor due to climbing twins who despite my best efforts did indeed end up on a chair, THAT WAS ALREADY ON THE TABLE!?! I actually didn't even get a picture of this out of sheer terror that they would fall...usually I take a pic cause I think they will be ok...but this was insane?!
-make dinner
-fold more laundry
- vacuum whole main level
-feed kids dinner
-vacuum again due to sand box fun being brought into the hose
(why did I vaccum earlier?? such a rookie mistake)
-clean up dinner
-take kids to park after dinner
come home and wait for Daddy...yea Daddy!......family bike ride back to bigger cooler park. Home by 8:10, kids in bed by 8:30
I guess to some workaholics it might not sound that busy but tonight at 8:30 was the first time I sat down all day...unless you count, peeing, driving, or laying on the floor getting crawled over.
So yes, I feel tired.
Sorry if I'm being dramatic but phew, these kids wear me out and I'm only 28!!
I LOVE this show, its like a train wreck and I cant look away! ( Chad is watching it with me too and loving it just as much as I am but ssshhh)
Speaking of Chad, he came home today and we chatted about our days a bit and I mentioned in passing I was tired...to which I received the eye roll. Chad is not one to actually SAY anything negative or annoying in response to any comment I make because that would actually allow me to start a argument ( which we really don't ever actually have, mostly in part to his silence, how can you argue if your other half sits there in silence.. deafening eye rolling silence!) So now I am just reflecting on my day, and of course doing a vs. his day kind of thing, (very silently of course )
So what did I do today? Should I be complaining that I feel tired? Well, lets do a recap, ( just the short version as the commercial break is almost over )
-We had a decent sleep, woke at 7am
-made breakfast, chased children to get dressed, be clean we have a play date today!
-make cookies before 10 am play date
-burn cookies.
-pack up early, need to go to store to get snacks for play date
-take FOUR kids to extra foods...do I need to explain to you all how fun that is?
-Go to big play date!
- Chase kids around new friends home trying to get them to not break, eat, steal, pee on or terrorize other new friends and their toys
-hours later, pack up kids to go home for cranky overtired twins nap time... and get two toddlers who don't want to go into the truck...in the rain. I get drenched.
-put twins to sleep
-fold 3 loads of laundry while convincing Coy laundry is NOT BALLS! Stop throwing my underwear!
-jump on trampoline for too long...ooh my bladder...
-remove all chairs from floor due to climbing twins who despite my best efforts did indeed end up on a chair, THAT WAS ALREADY ON THE TABLE!?! I actually didn't even get a picture of this out of sheer terror that they would fall...usually I take a pic cause I think they will be ok...but this was insane?!
-make dinner
-fold more laundry
- vacuum whole main level
-feed kids dinner
-vacuum again due to sand box fun being brought into the hose
(why did I vaccum earlier?? such a rookie mistake)
-clean up dinner
-take kids to park after dinner
come home and wait for Daddy...yea Daddy!......family bike ride back to bigger cooler park. Home by 8:10, kids in bed by 8:30
I guess to some workaholics it might not sound that busy but tonight at 8:30 was the first time I sat down all day...unless you count, peeing, driving, or laying on the floor getting crawled over.
So yes, I feel tired.
Sorry if I'm being dramatic but phew, these kids wear me out and I'm only 28!!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Being Me
I decided that I might keep a journal ( or a blogal?) about my life for one year, every day tell a little about my day and see what it becomes...perhaps a good laugh for the future, more sane version of myself. You know I kept adiary every day as a kid and a pre teen. I still have them and they are good for a make you cry kind of laugh...such a loser.
Aah yes I can see it now, a mini memoir full of warm tender memories, lovey lovey kissey mushy stuff on my FABULOUS marriage, how I LOVE to be a mommy and what I ever did before these wonderful angels came into my life......
Silly me, wait I said memoir didn't I? Ohhhh, so I guess I must be a tad more truthful? Well ok, as long as truth doesn't lad me in jail or with a social worker, truth is what I will deliver. Good bad ugly, or poopey in may case. ( Yes I STILL cant escape poop! I tell poop stories like drunks tell drinking stories, its all we have indulge me)
Today is June 29 2010. Heres a bit of background...
Mia is 3, soon to be 4 in October. Coy was 2 in February and the twins, god love them cause some days I sure dont, (hey, social workers be gone!) are 15 months. In general I dont think time has eased the pain of having 4 kids in 2 years. I think all time has done for me was allow a fatter backside to grow due to the stress eating, wrinkles from lack of sleep, and deeper more meaningful conversations with Mia.... on Dora the explorer and her Spanish heritage and if she willmarry boots one day?
You know, after all the ramble I think I am too tired to even tell anything about my actual day? Tired due to the fact that at 15 months the twins have slept a total of 5 times thru the night and not in a row...
but perhaps I could give a little glimpse...today on a family bike ride after dinner we went to the park...after much monkeying around on the monkey bars and Chad towing the tired twins home behind his bike, it was time to load the big kids... Coy was locked and loaded on the back of my bike and now for Mia ( who is currently "riding" her own bike...if you want to call taking a rest stop every 5 feet 'riding')
Mia...Mia! Mia....Mia?? MIA?? Uh oh!! The girl is a snail on her bike until I turn around to get Coy in his seat and NOW shes gone??!! Frantic bike ride around park, back to school parking lot...back to park...back to parking lot...then I see her...phew....happily talking to some teenage girls on the swings at other school park across the field from where we were...apparently she was curious about their Ipods, she was wondering if they had " A whole new World?" as sung by Princess Jasmine. Her babysitter let her listen to it and she was just wondering??
Lord...time for the stranger talk, again. I cant keep this girl from talking to people! I have NO idea where she gets that from but its sooo irritating! ;)
Oh well, not major but a story for the journal! Now I must retire, Kate plus 8 is on and I like to watch it, it makes me feel better about my life :)
Aah yes I can see it now, a mini memoir full of warm tender memories, lovey lovey kissey mushy stuff on my FABULOUS marriage, how I LOVE to be a mommy and what I ever did before these wonderful angels came into my life......
Silly me, wait I said memoir didn't I? Ohhhh, so I guess I must be a tad more truthful? Well ok, as long as truth doesn't lad me in jail or with a social worker, truth is what I will deliver. Good bad ugly, or poopey in may case. ( Yes I STILL cant escape poop! I tell poop stories like drunks tell drinking stories, its all we have indulge me)
Today is June 29 2010. Heres a bit of background...
Mia is 3, soon to be 4 in October. Coy was 2 in February and the twins, god love them cause some days I sure dont, (hey, social workers be gone!) are 15 months. In general I dont think time has eased the pain of having 4 kids in 2 years. I think all time has done for me was allow a fatter backside to grow due to the stress eating, wrinkles from lack of sleep, and deeper more meaningful conversations with Mia.... on Dora the explorer and her Spanish heritage and if she willmarry boots one day?
You know, after all the ramble I think I am too tired to even tell anything about my actual day? Tired due to the fact that at 15 months the twins have slept a total of 5 times thru the night and not in a row...
but perhaps I could give a little glimpse...today on a family bike ride after dinner we went to the park...after much monkeying around on the monkey bars and Chad towing the tired twins home behind his bike, it was time to load the big kids... Coy was locked and loaded on the back of my bike and now for Mia ( who is currently "riding" her own bike...if you want to call taking a rest stop every 5 feet 'riding')
Mia...Mia! Mia....Mia?? MIA?? Uh oh!! The girl is a snail on her bike until I turn around to get Coy in his seat and NOW shes gone??!! Frantic bike ride around park, back to school parking lot...back to park...back to parking lot...then I see her...phew....happily talking to some teenage girls on the swings at other school park across the field from where we were...apparently she was curious about their Ipods, she was wondering if they had " A whole new World?" as sung by Princess Jasmine. Her babysitter let her listen to it and she was just wondering??
Lord...time for the stranger talk, again. I cant keep this girl from talking to people! I have NO idea where she gets that from but its sooo irritating! ;)
Oh well, not major but a story for the journal! Now I must retire, Kate plus 8 is on and I like to watch it, it makes me feel better about my life :)
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
MOMMY!
Mommy! I need a drink.
Mommy! Wheres my teddy?
Mommy! Ryley is looking at me! Hes thinking about pulling my hair!
Mommy! Come wipe my bum!
Mommy! The babies are playing in the toilet full of poop!
Mommy! Coy is standing on the table
Mommy! Reed is drinking your coffee...( oh well, wont burn him, its been sitting for 2 hrs and is cold)
Mommy! Why are you staring at me?
Mommy! Are you grumpy?
Mommy! How come daddy isn't here? Hes way more funner than you
Mommy! I want to go outside, naked, on the swings. No one will see. We have a fence
These are all things Mia has said to me between the hours of 7am and 7-22 am.
I still hold out hope that one day we will have great fun, with witty banter and meaningful conversation.Not just one sentence shout outs to boss me around, or tattle on the boys. One day.
Mommy! Wheres my teddy?
Mommy! Ryley is looking at me! Hes thinking about pulling my hair!
Mommy! Come wipe my bum!
Mommy! The babies are playing in the toilet full of poop!
Mommy! Coy is standing on the table
Mommy! Reed is drinking your coffee...( oh well, wont burn him, its been sitting for 2 hrs and is cold)
Mommy! Why are you staring at me?
Mommy! Are you grumpy?
Mommy! How come daddy isn't here? Hes way more funner than you
Mommy! I want to go outside, naked, on the swings. No one will see. We have a fence
These are all things Mia has said to me between the hours of 7am and 7-22 am.
I still hold out hope that one day we will have great fun, with witty banter and meaningful conversation.Not just one sentence shout outs to boss me around, or tattle on the boys. One day.
Friday, March 26, 2010
I am thankful
Its not thanksgiving or Christmas or any special holiday of sorts to make me think this morning about the things I am thankful for. Its been a rough go lately I wont lie, and so to make myself not go completely insane every day I have been trying to remember all the great things and be thankful. ( Some lists are better than others, depends on the day!)
Here is my list for today:
I am thankful that although Coy was awake from 3-5:30am...he was not vomiting.
I am thankful that when the twins knocked over my cup of coffee shattering it to a million pieces, it was an empty of coffee that I got to finish.
I am thankful that when I went upstairs to put away laundry and Reed tried to crawl over the gate and follow me, he got stuck in the upside down pants around the ankles position and did not crash head first to the hard tile floor. ( again)
I am thankful that my husband loves me....and gives me all that I need, when I humble myslef and ask for it
I am thankful that when Mia threw up all over me last night, I had covered myself in a towel before I feel asleep.
I am thankful that when I split my jeans again, it was in the knee and not in the a**
I am thankful that my kids love me so much that they cry A LOT to be held and hugged and kissed.
I am thankful that when Mia had explosive diarrhea this morning and I was on the phone, she was able to tell me that the babies were playing in it before they managed to get any in their mouth. ( prompting me to be thankful that we have running water, soap, garbage bags and that I have a stuffed nose)
Lastly for today I am thankful for birth control, because if I had another kid I would be committed.
So in summary, its only noon, and I am so thankful for so many things already that I can just hardly wait for the rest of this miserable day to be over with so I can reflect on all the other things I have to be thankful for.
Here is my list for today:
I am thankful that although Coy was awake from 3-5:30am...he was not vomiting.
I am thankful that when the twins knocked over my cup of coffee shattering it to a million pieces, it was an empty of coffee that I got to finish.
I am thankful that when I went upstairs to put away laundry and Reed tried to crawl over the gate and follow me, he got stuck in the upside down pants around the ankles position and did not crash head first to the hard tile floor. ( again)
I am thankful that my husband loves me....and gives me all that I need, when I humble myslef and ask for it
I am thankful that when Mia threw up all over me last night, I had covered myself in a towel before I feel asleep.
I am thankful that when I split my jeans again, it was in the knee and not in the a**
I am thankful that my kids love me so much that they cry A LOT to be held and hugged and kissed.
I am thankful that when Mia had explosive diarrhea this morning and I was on the phone, she was able to tell me that the babies were playing in it before they managed to get any in their mouth. ( prompting me to be thankful that we have running water, soap, garbage bags and that I have a stuffed nose)
Lastly for today I am thankful for birth control, because if I had another kid I would be committed.
So in summary, its only noon, and I am so thankful for so many things already that I can just hardly wait for the rest of this miserable day to be over with so I can reflect on all the other things I have to be thankful for.
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