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Friday, October 21, 2011

Vegas baby!!

I think that I have realized why "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"....its because you are too embarrassed, horrified, shocked or just plain drunk, to either remember it or sometimes really understand it. Vegas is a CRAZY place. There are literally almost NO rules, or consequence or depth its all a big show...I was thinking Vegas is kind of like a two year old and by that I mean there seems to be that same kind of level of selfishness and craziness that comes with a two year old.....only two year olds dont you give nudie cards every time you turn the corner of your house, well at least mine dont, I dont know what kind of things you give your toddlers but nudie cards, not high of my list.

For me what happens in Vegas, stays on my friends voicemail with that drunk Dial, or in that bag of chips I made Leah dump in the back of the cab so I could be a lady and toss my cookies " discreetly" in the cab ( I say discreetly but really was it? If I held the bag to face at 2 am while groaning did that nice cab driver think I just REALLY liked the smell of Lays?)
But lets rewind a little, before all the tossing of the cookies nonsense.....From the moment we landed Vegas has surprised me in a lot of ways. Not that I am a huge goodie good girl but I am so shocked at the no rules. Here, people are smoking EVERYWHERE, there are ash trays in the stall of your toilet, in your cab, only people dont use them because they are all over the street. You can literally carry your alacholic beverage with you ANYWHERE!! The road, the stores, the cab, the Wallgreen's? ( do you think the lady working the till at wallgreens was questioning why I was holding a penis shaped margarita drink AND buying a breast pump? I bet she didnt even notice because of the level of CRAZY that is here, I bet I looked pretty darn normal)
There are regular responsible looking people here who you may be friends with back home or want to have play dates with and then you realize they are pushing a stroller with a sleepy looking toddler in it or in the case of lady Leah and spoke too an 8 WEEK old baby and its 1 AM?! Oh, and they may or may not be holding a penis shaped margarita too while that push that stroller?! GET THAT BABY OUTTA VEGAS AND INTO BED WITH A BANKIE AND A SIPPY CUP OF MILK!!!!! No one needs to see itty bitty Mexicans giving out nudie cards, or men in stilts who look like the devil.... for sure not babies!!...Dont you think it would scar a poor child to have a hooker bend over and gitchie gitchie goo you when your two, its weird. unnatural. I dont know if its the smoke or the blantan lack of morals but I feel so filthy here, and would NEVER bring my kids here. Ever. Why would you even think a place called " Sin city" would be a fun vacation for you and your newborn baby and your two year old? That actually really bothers me the most, yes I suppose dont like seeing hooker cube vans drive around accosting us all with their loud " ladies direct to you in 20 minutes" billboards but it breaks my heart to see overtired babies wearing mardi gras beads wandering Fremont street at midnight.

To not be so negative though, there are TONS of super fun things to do here ( for ADULTS , GET THAT BABY TO BED!) and I think I would come back despite this towns overwhelming lack of moarls and filthiness....Last night Leah, Natalie and I zip lined down freemont street and it was AWESOME! We shopped in an amazing outlet mall, outside, in 30 degree weather in October! We ate breakfast in a rainforest cafe that has waterfalls, fake night skies and jungle animals that roar while you eat ( way cooler than it sounds) We didnt get kicked out of that Diner for being drunk and loud while we ate our chicken fingers, (mostly because I think the couple across from us was too distracting while doing their lines of coke directly off their table so no one took too much notice of the drunk mommy types) People will give you massages while you shop, hold doors open, hail cabs let you take their pictures when they look like a freak! (Mostly all for a tip money though), actually I wanted to take a picture of the girls done up beautifully as old school showgirls but they wanted money for you to take it, so I went across the street and used the zoom on my camera and took it when they were not looking...ok thats a lie, I dint do that but I wished I could have....I gave the poor thing one dollar and Chad would be so annoyed that I paid a dollar for a picture but I didnt want to be like the rest of Vegas and be rude, so I paid her for her " cheese!"
Today we are going to tube down a lazy river in our hotel, go on a roller coaster in New york, eat the greatest crepes ever made and see a show called "O" which turns out is not Oprah but an underwater Cirque show and we will be impressed. I am excited for today and hope to be wowed!

On a serious level I know that for me this is not totally " my thing" so far but I am looking foward to the day aheah, it has been a lot of fun and relaxing and such a change of pace to be away from home... but every time I am not thinking about how to avoid getting nudie girl cards thrown at me, I am heart sick for my family. I feel lost without them...I miss them a lot. More than I thought I would ever, is that bad to say? Looking around and being here in this out of this world environment I see how crazy blessed I am to have them. To have Chad and my babies is all I ever wanted in life, so far, and I have it and I am so lucky to be able to show off my family with my tiny photo book full of pictures to drunk strangers at the VLTS. They are something to be proud of and I really really am. I am missing getting a hug whenever I want one, Ryley will hug me without question anytime I ask, and not just a pat on the back like a big old bear hug with his arms and legs wrapped around me! It didnt feel quite as nice when the lady won at the penny slots and bear hugged me, yup, not.quite.the.same.....If I wrote about how much I missed Yvette I would start to bawl and then leak and then have to go get drunk so I dont think about her beautiful sweet face and how she always smells like caramel and kisses. I am crying. " think of carnies think of carnies..ok not crying now" So even though I complain about my family a lot and run away to Las Vegas just to pee alone, I need them. I love them. I feel lost without them. My heart just isnt the same when they are not here and I cant wait to run back home and tell them all about this crazy place.

Now its 9am and I know there is a buffet somewhere calling my name. Peace out!

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