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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mia turning 5



My first baby will be 5 tomorrow...shes in Kindergarten and is growing up to be everything that I thought and hoped she would be. Mia Isabella, my Mia girl.... all 7 lbs 9 oz of her came into this world, and into my heart and blew me away. Shes pretty darn awesome if I do say so, shes smart and kind and likes to be helpful..she loves music and riding bikes, she loves her brothers and her baby Yvette....she loves dancing and skating...above all she loves to be loved...she loves to hear stories about when I was pregnant with her, about when she was a baby and how her daddy would sing ( quite off key mind you) to her when she would cry and I love to tell her all her stories.

Tonight I am thinking about how I felt that night I went into labor. I was so, so, so, anxious, 10 days overdue already I was seriously downing that Castor oil and loving Chad up like we were newly dating teenagers ANYTHING to get this little baby outta me! I had wanted to have a baby since the moment Chad and I got engaged and it was so close now. I had been off work for 2 weeks already and was much to anxious to even enjoy it! Let me tell you if I could go back in time I would have taken a month off before and just cherished each and every second that I got to be alone...I would have taken hour long showers, and have had long drives alone listening to my music loud...I would have laid on the couch more, talked on the phone more, spent more time getting to know my husband actually...Looking back this would be the last time that he would be the most important person to me, the person who I was happy to give all my love and attention too... for a long, long time this will be the last time we really focus on building our relationship without talking about poop, vomit, tears and the lack of milk our house always has. I miss loving him in that undivided attention kind of way...ok off topic...

So 10 days overdue, October 11 2006, Chad has a late hockey game and I head to bed at 11pm...then while laying there I feel what I think might be contractions...I think? I never had any "fakers" so I am not sure...for about 30 min I lay there on my side, counting the minutes in between...hmm every 5 minutes or so! This could be it! I am pumped!! I decide to get up, get dressed, and have a glass of chocolate milk, because really all major occasions call for chocolate milk do they not? So I pace the kitchen, doing laps around our island I am starting to feel them every 4 minutes so I call Chad! This is it! weeeee! I am SO excited!! And these contractions are not so bad, whats the big deal? Chad says he is on his way....cut to 45 min later still no Chad and these contractions are every 2 minutes and kind of not so great anymore...kind of feels like someone is twisting my spine with a hand of fire while they stand on my stomach with golf shoes....
I call Chad again, seriously Chad its time...like now...please stop drinking beer in the change room with a bunch of naked middle aged men and get home NOW. A few minutes later Chad is home and I am ready to go!
We get to the hospital and it takes some time to get registered, get checked out and into a room...its about 2 am now and its been about 3 hours since I felt that first lovely contraction only now they are not so exciting and lovely, they actually are really miserable and I want to die. No joke. Kill me. please. So we get a room and I am only 3 cm!? WHAT?! THAT'S IS?! Good god....I'm never gonna make it!...The nurse asks if I want an epidural and I say, no thanks not yet I think I will be ok....rookie mistake. Huge mistake... So she leaves and the pain in my lower back is so bad that every time I have a contraction I am literally brought to my knees, its so awful I cant find the words to give the pain its proper dues...Chad tries to hold a water bottle on my lower back but at this point its like trying to put out a fire with a eye dropper....I am just on all fours on the floor in miserable blinding pain and the nurse comes in and says I have to get on the bed to get checked out...well she could have said " you need to recite the alphabet in German on one foot while balancing knives on head" because there was no way I could make it onto that bed I couldn't even move. Back labor is now a curse in my house... I happened to be crippling pain while my spine was being ripped from my body thru my a$$... but by the grace of God and Chads strong muscles he managed to get me up on that bed and get checked and lucky me after less than an hour I was 10 cm and good to push..ok I want drugs...

" sorry! Its too late! But your doing great!"

I am? Have you noticed that I am about to die? Do you want my baby to have no mother? Would you do that to a poor innocent baby...granted this is the same baby thats KILLING ME, but still? Look at my husband he could never do this on his own. Please I dont want to die, give me some drugs...nope sorry. Cue the panic. Cue the nurses flooding in. Cue my legs in the air....and calls to Dr. Wong home asleep in his bed, baby was ready to come. The scenes that follow were so horrific that I have blocked a lot out, I closed my eyes on my first push and didn't open them unil the end... After soul crushing, life sucking, unbearable 40 minutes of pushing Dr. Wong arrives, slices me like a turkey on thanksgiving and Ta Da! Its a GIRL!!!!!! I open my eyes for the first time in 40 minutes and see her face, shes so beautiful...really really beautiful....wow how did Chad and I manage that?! Bravo to us! ...I love her more than my own life and I just met her, crazy how that happens..a minute ago she was killing me and now I would die for her....
Its been a whirlwind 5 years thats for sure and thru it all Mia has been my girl, my helper, my friend, at times my only lady ally in the house. All my dreams are wrapped up in her and her curly blond hair and goofy smile...she is my soul mate, my first born and the first to steal my heart in a second. I am so happy that she belongs to me and that I have the privilege to be her mom...I cant wait for the rest of our life together :)

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