I keep wanting to write about a LOT of things...and then I keep stopping myself for some reason...typically I am SUCH an over-sharer that I literally make people, ( and by " people" I men my husband) cringe. So I have been trying to limit myself and up my filter for the sake of not being a source of frustration to the ones I love.... but its honestly hard. To be truthful it then makes me secretly resentful of the ones I love. In the last few years a lot has been going on in my little old personal life and I have learned that resentment is a bitter, bitter word to carry in your mouth, your heart and your life and its just toxic. I dont want to resent anything these days and I want to be authentic and happy.
Trying to be "better" for the ones I love I found myself stopping every time I wanted to share something, good bad, anything...THEN you know what...I kind of stop BEING myself then because for better or worse, I'm a chtter...a talker, a writer and a girl with a small-ish filter and you know what, it hasnt served me that badly as I have a pretty good life... and to be honest I like myself so why am I second guessing my natural instincts, I have good ones darnit! haha...SO I am going to write again and write whatever I feel like and maybe use a little more discretion but then again, maybe not!
On that note I will be right back...I have to go take my kids to day camp round 2~ hahahahaha!! THis whold day camp thing a few times a week has been AMAZING and I will write about that later, lol!
:)
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Wedded Bliss
Its the Eve of my 10 year wedding anniversary.
Whoa.
I feel a lot of mixed emotions when I say that. I feel happy, happy that we made it here. Sad that it has gone by honestly quite fast. Nervous that maybe I took some of those years for granted. Heart broken at some of our very low lows, Hopeful that the next 10 will be full of happiness and love and learning.
I have all these old journals and was reading the one from the night before my wedding. My friend Rhianna had come down for the wedding. She was staying with me and I was so happy to have here around! It was one of the last nights in my own apartment ( we didn't live together until we got married...haha how old school of us ;) So it was my last girly sleep over in that time in my life. We even slept in the same bed! She was a great help the next day when after my hair appointment some bridal hair not pinned well began to fall out! I have videos of her fixing it....this was SUCH a LONG time ago that iPhones didn't exist, and we actually used a video camera to record the day, LOL! Its on a CD somewhere and I intend to find it today....
The day was SO hectic. We had rented a hall and a crap ton of decorations to make said hall look less like a hall, haha....Chad and his groomsmen were busy getting all the booze for the wedding, Chads parents were busy helping set up decor and being generally really useful...My parents were getting my grandparents, who flew up from Oregon, settled in the hotel...my bridesmaids were busy getting pedicures and picking out matching jewellery ;)
I was bust running around like a chicken with her head cut off going to michaels to get more things for table decor, changing my mind last minute about how I wanted the hall to look ( it turned out well I believe) THEN after running all over and working hard I had to get my own nails done...I ended up having to squeeze in a moment, (no appointment made ahead as Im not a nail girl and didn't even think of it until I heard my bridesmaids were off getting theirs done...) SO I went alone to a mall shop and a tiny Asian did my nails then convinced me to tint my eyebrows. What a disaster THAT was....why did I say yes?? I then spent the next two hours looking for ways to make my normally light brown eyebrows, now black, look normal again. *was a very bad tearful moment for me...
I went to bed late and was restless. I woke up early and me my BFF Teri at a fancy hair salon on Whyte Ave owned at the time by a very good friend Debbie! The day was flying by...I had to get a card for Chad and ended up a shoppers drug mart with full hair and Veil on looking at cards and got stared at...beleive it or not back then I didn't like the attention and hated people staring at me...
There were of course more than a few hiccups that day...Ross was "lost" ( funny story ended up ok) Chad may of had to sleep in his car the night before...Flowers were a little mixed up...then our flower girl bouquets was forgot at my apartment...My Dad got lost on the way to the ceremony driving all us girls and we ended up almost 30 minutes late for my own wedding. Rhianna got lost and I struggled to track her down and wait for her so she didn't miss the wedding! ( She barley made it...)
The co-ordinator for the Provincial Museum where we were married was not impressed we were:
a) late
b) wanting to wait for my friend
c) needed a flower girl bouquet
that said...we got married. My friend Laura plated the guitar and sang as we all walked down the aisle. A family friend Margo took pictures for us...a Justice of the Peace married us under the tress in the grass and our friends and family cheered us on as we walked down back down the Aisle.
That feels like a whole other life ago. It feels like its as so long ago but then these years went so fast. I feel like I was so young. I was 23 and Chad was almost 26. We dated for 3 years before we said "I do" and well...hey here is a picture!
I guess I don't want to really talk all about that day but a general summary of the days and months and years that have followed since that picture...
Life has been nothing short of amazing for us in so many ways, on paper in stories in thinking back and talking about our life. It also threw us a lot of curve balls. I learned a lot about myself and did a lot of things I didn't think I would. NEVER did I think we would have 5 kids, twins, live in Fort McMurray for 10 years...and so much more.
We had a rough patch a while ago. I think we were both growing as people, I was making a lot of mistakes, but we both were. I was so confused and our life made no sense and I was so unhappy. Chad was unhappy and we were struggling to be in the same room with each other.
Never did I think on that day those emotions would bubble up. Never did I think that I would be so in love and so mad at the person I promised my life to. I'm sure never did he think he would love and hate me all at the same time too.
In those moments I learned the most about the man I married. I learned that the things I valued most about him were all still there...all still true and that maybe in my own struggles I forgot who he was as well as who I was. I forgot we really did like each other. I forgot life wasn't always so hectic and hard. I remembered that when I'm old, or if and when I get sick, or if I need a hand or a shoulder or help, someone to cry or lean on, he was the most dependable of all that have come into my life.
I took him for granted. He took me for granted.
Its a work in progress this is for sure. I posted this today...
" A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other"
So maybe some of the things we have been through have been the highest of all highs. Some of the things we have been through have been the lowest of lows. what I have learned is that we do love each other, very much. We are stubborn. We are not perfect. We are also not quitters. ( Sadly I am less perfect than he is but he never reads these posts so don't tell him ;)
In reflecting back on 10 years there are many more good memories than bad, all that I am trying to say is that life really is always changing and evolving and so are we. I never would have written our story the way it has played or for us if I was writing it today 10 years ago as a 23 year old young woman, but all that has commenced since May 28th 2005 has added to the richness of our life and the uniqueness of our story.
We are going to Edmonton tomorrow. We are leaving the kids with family and spending a few days alone together. We haven't had a night alone together in 18 months. We are going back to the city where we fell in love, back to the place we said I do and back to some of those moments in time where we can remember why we wanted this life together so bad. Why we try so hard every day even when is REALLY hard, and why in another 10 years we will still be hand in hand trying to do the best, do it the way WE want to do it and love every moment of it.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Oh my gosh I live in the "Country!"
Its been well over a week since I blogged and I have 18 million things I want to say but I feel like I can't even remember what they are!? haha
We live in the country! We have 2 acres! We have a school bus! My garbage cans are Bear proof? Trying to figure out how to get that open is a blog post all on its own. Yes it was tricky...yes I am a bit of an idiot but I'd like to see YOU figure it out! Oooh and now we live out here, I don't need to walk to and from school! No need for drop off and pick up at school everyday! That sweet sanity saving yellow bus comes right to the driveway! NO more waiting around outside in -52! I can see the bus coming from the front window...I quickly walk the kids to the end of the driveway ( in my jammies I might add) and then run back! GLORIOUS! That alone is kind of worth it all...haha...
I am going to post a few pictures of the house soon...its ridiculous how much I love it. I love it even more living in it than when we looked at it empty. I don't want to be annoying but did I mention I LOVE IT...I feel like finally we are not tripping over each other!
(by that I mean mostly ME tripping over KIDS while I try to do the 800 things at once that they all want...whilst they follow me around demanding said things over, and over and over.....I still don't know why they do this...they literally follow me everywhere.. at least here I can lose them for a little, haha..or if they still do follow me like little baby ducklings, there is room to do play follow the leader)
I should be a little more clear because I sound so ungrateful! Our last house was amazing and I loved it, and we were SO happy to move into when we did! It was a big house, with a great fenced yard, and in the best neighboured around...I had grand visions of renovating it and having it be our forever house...
then we had Yvette...ooops a 5th baby changes things a little haha...then the twins started to grow like GIANTS! Where did they come from?! Then one day the kids all had friends over and I realized one day, if they are lucky and each one has just ONE good friend and they come over...thats like 10 kids in the house and whatever adults want to subject themselves to that ( usually just Chad and I) thats a CRAP TON of people in one space!
So we moved. It was a lot of work, ( massive shout outs to all those who came and helped!!)
It was a glorious sunny day!! It was warm and blue skies! Which in Fort McMurray in March meant it was a river of melted snow and water and mud in our yard and poor Crystal was on shovel duty scooping water in her rubbers and tossing it to the nearest snow bank....where it would melt a few minutes later haha...we all ended up with soaking wet socks and shoes, kids with dirty wet clothes, and friends left with sore backs and sweaty faces and not even a beer to be had! ( SO SORRY GUYS! I will re pay you I promise!) However, being here I never want to leave. ever. because I love it. and moving sucks. haha.
NOW....I will write something much for exciting and entertaining later today...Currerntly Yvette is in this stage where she is convinced she's a puppy and she follows me barking all day..and licks my hands while I walk and such...she wants to play fetch and in general is pretty cute but SUPER annoying...shes trying to " jump" up on my lap right now so I will have to end the wonderfully boring post! haha
Till later! I have a few entertaining stories, well to me they are anyway...I shall share later :)
We live in the country! We have 2 acres! We have a school bus! My garbage cans are Bear proof? Trying to figure out how to get that open is a blog post all on its own. Yes it was tricky...yes I am a bit of an idiot but I'd like to see YOU figure it out! Oooh and now we live out here, I don't need to walk to and from school! No need for drop off and pick up at school everyday! That sweet sanity saving yellow bus comes right to the driveway! NO more waiting around outside in -52! I can see the bus coming from the front window...I quickly walk the kids to the end of the driveway ( in my jammies I might add) and then run back! GLORIOUS! That alone is kind of worth it all...haha...
I am going to post a few pictures of the house soon...its ridiculous how much I love it. I love it even more living in it than when we looked at it empty. I don't want to be annoying but did I mention I LOVE IT...I feel like finally we are not tripping over each other!
(by that I mean mostly ME tripping over KIDS while I try to do the 800 things at once that they all want...whilst they follow me around demanding said things over, and over and over.....I still don't know why they do this...they literally follow me everywhere.. at least here I can lose them for a little, haha..or if they still do follow me like little baby ducklings, there is room to do play follow the leader)
I should be a little more clear because I sound so ungrateful! Our last house was amazing and I loved it, and we were SO happy to move into when we did! It was a big house, with a great fenced yard, and in the best neighboured around...I had grand visions of renovating it and having it be our forever house...
then we had Yvette...ooops a 5th baby changes things a little haha...then the twins started to grow like GIANTS! Where did they come from?! Then one day the kids all had friends over and I realized one day, if they are lucky and each one has just ONE good friend and they come over...thats like 10 kids in the house and whatever adults want to subject themselves to that ( usually just Chad and I) thats a CRAP TON of people in one space!
So we moved. It was a lot of work, ( massive shout outs to all those who came and helped!!)
It was a glorious sunny day!! It was warm and blue skies! Which in Fort McMurray in March meant it was a river of melted snow and water and mud in our yard and poor Crystal was on shovel duty scooping water in her rubbers and tossing it to the nearest snow bank....where it would melt a few minutes later haha...we all ended up with soaking wet socks and shoes, kids with dirty wet clothes, and friends left with sore backs and sweaty faces and not even a beer to be had! ( SO SORRY GUYS! I will re pay you I promise!) However, being here I never want to leave. ever. because I love it. and moving sucks. haha.
NOW....I will write something much for exciting and entertaining later today...Currerntly Yvette is in this stage where she is convinced she's a puppy and she follows me barking all day..and licks my hands while I walk and such...she wants to play fetch and in general is pretty cute but SUPER annoying...shes trying to " jump" up on my lap right now so I will have to end the wonderfully boring post! haha
Till later! I have a few entertaining stories, well to me they are anyway...I shall share later :)
Sunday, March 8, 2015
Pictures...
I wanted to throw some old pictures in of the house and mostly of the kids when we moved in here...they were SO LITTLE!
Mias first picture in the new house!
I had no real kitchen table for a while..so we just had...baby stuff!
Bathtime in our new house included all the littles!
A typical breakfast...
Sweet Mia in the park behind our house...
Handsome Coy
The twiners..
The babies of the family at the time...
They learned to walk here :)
Moving...
I started to write a Facebook update that kind of started to become a long Aleaha type ramble...so I figured if I was going to write might as well jot it down here...we are moving....whoa.
So in 5 days we are moving...Chad and i have been packing the house and all of our things, all of our memories...good and bad....all of our crap! Going through a lot of of stuff...physcial stuff, some emotional stuff haha...
( I would like to add that Chad has been doing SO Much work in the last few days ...of course I have in my own way, but he in the last few days has really taken on the lions share of the work...disassembling and moving furniture and such...) The house and all the regular things and activities still have to be done, so I have been doing a lot of sorting and organizing and throwing out and packing but still have to do laundry, and cook and shuttle people and keep the house kind of clean-ish...so its been an interesting go....and I can't work tools so he gets the take apart and put back together jobs...sorry.
When we moved into the house we are in now, the twins were 8 months old...Coy was 20 months old and Mia had just turned 3 the month before...I was in a big baby fog, or a sleep deprived fog or something because I remember so little about the build up to the move, and even the actual move itself? I remember it was freezing, It was November and like -100... Chad was deathly ill ( turns out he had that bird virus) and my parents came up...and Mia was watching the cartoon movie "UP" on play repeat...thats literally all I remember...and I remember thinking:
" WHY ARE WE MOVING IN -100 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANT FEEL MY HANDS!"
We, like everyone else, have a lot of stuff and MAN have I been throwing a lot out, haha! Its ridiculous the amount of "stuff" you accumulate in 5 and a half years, with 5 small ones....thats 5 christmas's what like 25 some odd birthdays? Plus just random things...school crafts, papers galore... kids clothes that we bought, clothes that people gave us, a zillion old snowsuits..baby blankets, holiday decorations, holiday costumes...things that we are holding onto for what reason exactly? SHOES...GLOVES...why do we have so many of those things, and they don't even fit??!
Thats just inside the house if you want to see STUFF think of this, we have a 3 car garage, with like 11 bikes in it, bags of skates and hockey gear, 2 cars, GT snow things, a broken washing machine...tools tools galore...its crazy.
( ps. at this moment Coy is sitting behind me rubbing my back as I type, trying to read what I am writing...COY COY COY...that is so relaxing...dont stop! LOL...I am talking to YOU!)
Ok...so being in this house has been a totally pleasure and I have loved living here. I feel like we are in the best neighbourhood in all of Fort McMurray. I feel like we live on the best street and our house has arguably the best location in the world...haha! Biased? noooo....why are we moving again!? Oh yes, we have 8 people in a 5 bedroom house and they won't stop growing!
So the house isn't the reason we are leaving per se. Its the fact that we went and had another child after we moved here, gained my brother and then realized we are going to sadly outgrow this house as well...we need like acres to raise these people the way we want, so we got a couple now and hopefully if they get too big for my "new" house we can just build them a garage in the back to sleep in or something! haha...
I was thinking of all the reasons why I was sad to leave this home and then I did happen to stumble upon of a few sad memories and sad but defining moments in my own life that happened here that make me a bit relieved to leave. How depressing righ, UGH, who wants to talk about that...oh yes I DO!
I see the bathroom I had my first real " mom breakdown" in and it wasn't pretty. ( the bathroom is pretty..the memory is heart wrenching) ..I locked myself in there for a while and then when Chad was home I took my tear soaked sweat pant wearing self and ran away from the house and never wanted to come back to it or that bathroom.... I cried in that bathroom more than once for more than one reason...clearly I came back. haha
I was thinking about how many friends have come and gone from my life while I have lived in this house. How many people I have lovingly invited over to share in our life and share moments with.
Lots of these people are still around, ( and come to the new house please and thank you!) However some came into my life for a reason and are gone. They left some pretty tragic memories with them and left me a changed woman and I can't say that I won't be sad to know that I can leave that here in this house. I feel almost invaded or...like my space has been invaded with their negative vibes.. to know that they are so aware of what my life looks like, or my house and my children's room and
nonsense like that ( does that even make sense?) To move to a new house, where they have never been, never brought their sad or bitter or lost selves too makes me feel like as much as its a "new" house, in the same town...its a fresh house with a fresh start.
We have a lot of work to do in the next few days...so I should get off my butt and stop writing and get to it but I hope that this new house is a new chapter for our family. I hope we can make just as many good and bad ( haha) memories and raise our family there to become the kind of adults I would be proud to know and love. I have high hopes. I am full of gratitude to Chad for making all of this happen for us and I may even try to plant a garden...HAHA KIDDING, I'm no gardener, haha...I will plant my butt in a law chair and enjoy the peace!
So in 5 days we are moving...Chad and i have been packing the house and all of our things, all of our memories...good and bad....all of our crap! Going through a lot of of stuff...physcial stuff, some emotional stuff haha...
( I would like to add that Chad has been doing SO Much work in the last few days ...of course I have in my own way, but he in the last few days has really taken on the lions share of the work...disassembling and moving furniture and such...) The house and all the regular things and activities still have to be done, so I have been doing a lot of sorting and organizing and throwing out and packing but still have to do laundry, and cook and shuttle people and keep the house kind of clean-ish...so its been an interesting go....and I can't work tools so he gets the take apart and put back together jobs...sorry.
When we moved into the house we are in now, the twins were 8 months old...Coy was 20 months old and Mia had just turned 3 the month before...I was in a big baby fog, or a sleep deprived fog or something because I remember so little about the build up to the move, and even the actual move itself? I remember it was freezing, It was November and like -100... Chad was deathly ill ( turns out he had that bird virus) and my parents came up...and Mia was watching the cartoon movie "UP" on play repeat...thats literally all I remember...and I remember thinking:
" WHY ARE WE MOVING IN -100 FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANT FEEL MY HANDS!"
We, like everyone else, have a lot of stuff and MAN have I been throwing a lot out, haha! Its ridiculous the amount of "stuff" you accumulate in 5 and a half years, with 5 small ones....thats 5 christmas's what like 25 some odd birthdays? Plus just random things...school crafts, papers galore... kids clothes that we bought, clothes that people gave us, a zillion old snowsuits..baby blankets, holiday decorations, holiday costumes...things that we are holding onto for what reason exactly? SHOES...GLOVES...why do we have so many of those things, and they don't even fit??!
Thats just inside the house if you want to see STUFF think of this, we have a 3 car garage, with like 11 bikes in it, bags of skates and hockey gear, 2 cars, GT snow things, a broken washing machine...tools tools galore...its crazy.
( ps. at this moment Coy is sitting behind me rubbing my back as I type, trying to read what I am writing...COY COY COY...that is so relaxing...dont stop! LOL...I am talking to YOU!)
Ok...so being in this house has been a totally pleasure and I have loved living here. I feel like we are in the best neighbourhood in all of Fort McMurray. I feel like we live on the best street and our house has arguably the best location in the world...haha! Biased? noooo....why are we moving again!? Oh yes, we have 8 people in a 5 bedroom house and they won't stop growing!
So the house isn't the reason we are leaving per se. Its the fact that we went and had another child after we moved here, gained my brother and then realized we are going to sadly outgrow this house as well...we need like acres to raise these people the way we want, so we got a couple now and hopefully if they get too big for my "new" house we can just build them a garage in the back to sleep in or something! haha...
I was thinking of all the reasons why I was sad to leave this home and then I did happen to stumble upon of a few sad memories and sad but defining moments in my own life that happened here that make me a bit relieved to leave. How depressing righ, UGH, who wants to talk about that...oh yes I DO!
I see the bathroom I had my first real " mom breakdown" in and it wasn't pretty. ( the bathroom is pretty..the memory is heart wrenching) ..I locked myself in there for a while and then when Chad was home I took my tear soaked sweat pant wearing self and ran away from the house and never wanted to come back to it or that bathroom.... I cried in that bathroom more than once for more than one reason...clearly I came back. haha
I was thinking about how many friends have come and gone from my life while I have lived in this house. How many people I have lovingly invited over to share in our life and share moments with.
Lots of these people are still around, ( and come to the new house please and thank you!) However some came into my life for a reason and are gone. They left some pretty tragic memories with them and left me a changed woman and I can't say that I won't be sad to know that I can leave that here in this house. I feel almost invaded or...like my space has been invaded with their negative vibes.. to know that they are so aware of what my life looks like, or my house and my children's room and
nonsense like that ( does that even make sense?) To move to a new house, where they have never been, never brought their sad or bitter or lost selves too makes me feel like as much as its a "new" house, in the same town...its a fresh house with a fresh start.
We have a lot of work to do in the next few days...so I should get off my butt and stop writing and get to it but I hope that this new house is a new chapter for our family. I hope we can make just as many good and bad ( haha) memories and raise our family there to become the kind of adults I would be proud to know and love. I have high hopes. I am full of gratitude to Chad for making all of this happen for us and I may even try to plant a garden...HAHA KIDDING, I'm no gardener, haha...I will plant my butt in a law chair and enjoy the peace!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
The kids literally pee our money away
This is going to be super quick and I was going to write this last night but then at the ripe old time of 9pm I was exhausted and went to bed to watch love it or list it, haha!
Ok, so last night we are taking apart all the boys bunk beds (and by "we" I mean Chad) I was being very helpful and chatty of course and then as we were piling the mattresses on the floor I remembered about 8 months ago we bought the boys new mattresses?
Why?? Well not because they were old or tattered, in fact they were quite new, but because of this. BED WETTING. Ugh.
So Reed had a little issue with night time bed wetting. He's 5, give the kid a break. At the same time he also was having " sleepovers" in his brother beds. All the boys share room because they love it too much to go their separate ways so with accident after accident we had some very gross mattresses.
*Let me note that first I wasted a crap ton of money on big kid pull ups. The nights he wet the bed he would have taken them off because they "bothered him" the nights he wore them all night he woke up dry so they were garbaged totally useless, so here I am buying $800 dollar pull-ups for a small man child and they are practically useless....
After many mattress flips, countless scrubs and cleaning, which is also SO MUCH FUN * shudder* I said to Chad we needed to look into better mattress pads because this didn't seem to be going away, or a phase...( he has been pity trained since before 3 so 2 years later...doesnt seem like a phase to me)
The cheap plastic sheet I had from wall mart was uncomfy and crinkly and never stayed on anyway.
So we finally go to a furniture store, buy THREE brand new mattresses to replace the pee soaked ones, then we buy these aweomse comfy soft, totally washable totally chic-ey chic mattress pads made for PEE! They are awesome and I love them and they are like a million dollars. Ok maybe like just over 100, so we buy 3 new beds, 3 new covers and carry on a little lighter in the pocket.
8 months later as we take apart these beds guess what we realize?? Since the new beds...Reed has NEVER WET THE BED.
Its like he was waiting for something new, not covered in his old smell or something? I don't know. What I do know is what a annoying coincidence.
Ah well, we needed new beds and these pee sucker uppers are good for vomit too which come one now, we both know is never very far from my life :)
Ok, so last night we are taking apart all the boys bunk beds (and by "we" I mean Chad) I was being very helpful and chatty of course and then as we were piling the mattresses on the floor I remembered about 8 months ago we bought the boys new mattresses?
Why?? Well not because they were old or tattered, in fact they were quite new, but because of this. BED WETTING. Ugh.
So Reed had a little issue with night time bed wetting. He's 5, give the kid a break. At the same time he also was having " sleepovers" in his brother beds. All the boys share room because they love it too much to go their separate ways so with accident after accident we had some very gross mattresses.
*Let me note that first I wasted a crap ton of money on big kid pull ups. The nights he wet the bed he would have taken them off because they "bothered him" the nights he wore them all night he woke up dry so they were garbaged totally useless, so here I am buying $800 dollar pull-ups for a small man child and they are practically useless....
After many mattress flips, countless scrubs and cleaning, which is also SO MUCH FUN * shudder* I said to Chad we needed to look into better mattress pads because this didn't seem to be going away, or a phase...( he has been pity trained since before 3 so 2 years later...doesnt seem like a phase to me)
The cheap plastic sheet I had from wall mart was uncomfy and crinkly and never stayed on anyway.
So we finally go to a furniture store, buy THREE brand new mattresses to replace the pee soaked ones, then we buy these aweomse comfy soft, totally washable totally chic-ey chic mattress pads made for PEE! They are awesome and I love them and they are like a million dollars. Ok maybe like just over 100, so we buy 3 new beds, 3 new covers and carry on a little lighter in the pocket.
8 months later as we take apart these beds guess what we realize?? Since the new beds...Reed has NEVER WET THE BED.
Its like he was waiting for something new, not covered in his old smell or something? I don't know. What I do know is what a annoying coincidence.
Ah well, we needed new beds and these pee sucker uppers are good for vomit too which come one now, we both know is never very far from my life :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Old journal fun!
My days sometimes take these random turns, like everyones I'm quite sure....It started normally. I'm sure it will end normal but so far, a few hours in I feel like I am on a new path.
I called Mac Island Child care this morning to get Yvette into child mind so I can get back in my run groove...I'm 2 runs in this week and I feel like I've never ran in my life...not someone who just his summer was running 20 km on a sunday training for marathon. Oh has fast we fall...hahaha! That said I feel good and confident it will come back and I am honestly excited for the process again, well not the process but the feeling at the end, haha!
... ok side ramble, sorry! Back to my weird thoughts.
I called child mind...was put on hold...while on hold went on Facebook...saw a new post from the Fort Mcmurray film makers association, they posted pictures of the Ted X talks in town...that got me you tubing Ted X talks...which I watched about 3 minutes of before the kids needed food, and bums wiped, and toys found and well you know how it goes. It can take hours for a mom to do something that should take a "normal" person 15 minutes.... then while I was looking for said toy in our piles of boxes and messes and half packed bits and pieces, I found one of my old Jouranls from Christmas 2003!
EEE! Who doesn't love a good journal reminisce!
This journal was the time in my life when I was an insurance broker, dating a distant Chad who was working in Fort McMurray while I lived in Edmonton, I was living with some girlfriends. Watching people around me move in with their partners, get married, travel or other such new life twists and turns. I was working 8-4 at a desk job wondering if Chad would ever want to live with me, get married or well you know all those girl thoughts. I had too much time on my hands to wonder about my dreaded " future" haha!
One paragraph I will share for a small taste:
" Well dear journal...I am going to grab my laundry from down the hall before the neighbours steal it again, watch " Newlyweds, Jessica and Nick" and try not to spend the rest of the night obsessing over Chad. Looking forward to his 6 off... Shauna said today if I want him to move forward maybe I should play hard to get. I wish that was my style. I am not over bearing but I am for sure "easy to get" I hate playing games and I don't want to waste any time with someone who just doesn't know by now.....haha "
hahaha...and awe. I wish I could have seen the future and not be so...worried....I was always so worried about my darn future! I had known forever what I wanted and was and am the MOST Impaitent person ever....I wish I could have mellowed out..Chad and I were dating about 2 years here and I wanted more and he was...on the fence. ...haha!
Then guess what. I flipped to the back of my journal and believe it or not, I did see the future back the..or I laid out my future, and then somehow I conjured it up because I am living it now.
In the back I wrote a list of things I wanted. I will share it with you:
" Things I want before I get to the last page of this journal"
1. Be in love and not care about what everyone thinks
2. Get married
3. Move into our first home together and finally start a life with my love
( side note, Chad refused to live with me before marriage...he's an old fashioned sort. I ached for his company those 3 years we lived apart. But I adored him, So we waited and never lived together until we bought our first house and moved to Fort McMurray days after our wedding..now I think Jeez, I sure miss living on my own, hahaha!)
4. Be memorable to people
5. Be happy
6. Don't worry about money. paying rent. car insurance. food. be settled and secure. Not extravagant but not fearful.
7. Find my passion and do it.
8. Maybe have a baby.
9. graduate high school so I can stop lying about it
10. Get in shape.
hahaha...some of these goals a little vague, some a little more specific...but then when I was moving into the house we currently live it ( and clearly in a sleep deprived fog because I don't remember doing this) I wrote next to these goals the dates I felt I accomplished them. All in a matter of about 6 years. I wrote what I did and the date and how it made me feel. The twins were 9 months old when I wrote next to my goals. Today I read them and think how far I have come from where I was and far I have left to go. How my goals kind of sound the same but mean something totally different to me.
I instantly thought of a few new ones. Specific ones. I wrote them down .I will share them soon. I honestly feel like if you write it down, say it out loud and remind yourself of it, you really have no choice to accomplish it...well if you REALLY want them. haha!
So I have new goals. Mor long term ones...They are in no particular order:
1. Be in love and not care what anyone thinks ( same as before, new meaning to me)
2. Be happy.
3. Be memorable
4. Finish writing a very personal script. Then read it, love it, bury it and move on. THEN write that really funny one that will turn into a movie for the world to see!! lol
5. Run that marathon. Lose the last 15 lbs. ( I will pat myself on the back for already losing 40..but this isn't a kudos session, its a GOAL session ;)
6. Make my passion my career.
7. Make Chad and the kids always feel like number 1. ( ok 1 thru 6) ha!
8. Be true to myself. Be honest about this life. Be strong. Be awesome.
I know these might seem weird or vague and I have some more really specific ones ( like I really want to get my realtors licence, I want to go to Europe, I really want to plan our trip to Disney for next year, I really want to be better at doing the kids homework and not putting it off, haha)
I honestly feel like I have this ting inside waiting to burst out ( and its not a baby...I think) I think we all feel like that. Or I hope we do because its a really good feeling... I feel so lucky and have so much opportunity being given to me in this life that I feel like its my responsibility to make things happen, its just meant to be that I will have many, many, stories to tell!
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